Letting Go

Who or what have you had to let go?

The idea of “getting back to normal”

A carrot dangled in front of us

We can never quite grasp

What is normal anyway?

Failing to startle at the sight of so many uncovered faces in an enclosed space?

Not cringing at the thought of tasting a friend’s meal from their fork?

Losing three patients this week and thinking, “God that was awful,” instead of “things are getting better?”

Maybe there is no going back

Just as I cannot enter a movie theater without scanning for the exits

After a madman opened The Dark Knight with a spray of bullets

Perhaps we cannot return to the before

Just as I cannot see a plane flying low and not hold my breath for a moment

Since that Tuesday morning 20 years ago when the towers fell

This is the after

I don’t know yet if there is normal here

But I have let go of trying to hold on to it